I don't think so...

I have a secret admirer. Except he's not really a secret. At all. In fact, he is quite the opposite. And I don't know what to do. 

He's a very nice person, but I am so not even remotely interested. Even if he was super hot and had the greatest personality in the world, I wouldn't be interested. I had a terrible/unbelievably stupid summer and I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to even bother with men at this point in my life. I am happily single.

Thing is, this guy just won't quit. I mean, kudos/props/whatever for not giving up and all, but seriously. Enough is enough! Take a hint! I understand that may be a bit hard for some guys so I am going to spell it out for him, and everyone else.


Dude-

No, you may not have my number. No, I will not call you. No, I don't really want to go to dinner and a movie, and no, I already have a walk-in-the-park buddy who is pretty darn irreplaceable (see previous post. Ha.).

I feel bad about all of those "no's". Here's a yes or two: Yes, it is annoying when you come into my place of work and just kind of hover over me with nothing to say. Yes, I was very, very glad that I wasn't at work the last three times you have come in looking for me. Oh yes, Boss Lady and sister-in-law did tell me that you had come searching. While laughing at me, I might add. Boss got a particularly good laugh when you brought your friend into my place of work to check me out today. Heck, even the patient that Boss was helping knew what you were doing! When a complete stranger can see through you, saying things like "We'd just go as friends" isn't really gonna cut it...

Please. Please. Do me a favor, do yourself a favor. Just stop. You are more than welcome to come in and visit me or anyone else in the store, but only if you stop hitting on me and asking me out. However, if you really feel the need, you have my permission to hit on the Boss and the sister. Just as long as it's not me. 
Thank you.


Now that I've got that off my chest, I had a revelation last night! I have figured out how to become famous and possibly make my first millions! Great news, eh?? And I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you... You'll just have to wait and see. Tangible excitement. That's what that feeling is, oh yes.