I have many warming feelings

Wow.

I am well aware that I say this quite often, but yesterday was awesome. Truly awesome. Just fabulous.

The delight all began at work. Now, there are many reasons why I love my job so very much, but the majority of those reasons will have to wait for a later post. I'm going to focus on just one reason today: the crazies.
Seriously. I don't know why it is, but the optical business boasts the largest "crazy customer" population of anybody out there. Go ahead, try to prove me wrong. I dare you.

My boss told me a story about a Crazy from awhile back. His name is Fezzik*. He came in for an exam and a few days later, a letter arrived in the mail. In this letter, Fezzik proceeded to express his gratitude and the "many warming feelings" he felt towards the doctor and "his place" and declared that he would be referring said doctor to his family and friends.

I have many warming feelings toward this story.


Onward! I had my public speaking class again yesterday. I gave a speech again. It was actually really fun. Somebody please explain this to me. I prepared no more for this particular speech than the previous two, which were disastrous. I was still quite nervous and I started off on a few tangents, but I was able to keep BSOS at bay. Totally weird. Perhaps it had something to do with the topic, which I was very excited about.

Informative speeches were the torture of the day. I spent much, perhaps too much time deliberating on a topic. For some reason, when my cousin/professor announced the assignment to my class, the first thing that came to mind was the American Black Bear. What the crap? I have no idea where that even came from, so don't ask. Problem was, as soon as that totally random thought entered my mind, it wouldn't leave. I was at a total loss. Every time I tried to brainstorm, my mind could would not get around that ridiculous American Black Bear. So I considered giving it a shot. That lasted about two seconds.

There are about 20 people in my class and 90% of them are dudes. I would have totally put them to sleep, and I really didn't want to do that. My previous speeches had been disastrous. This was my chance to redeem myself! (perhaps that was the reason things went so well... I'm pretty stubborn, and I was going to do well at this one dang it!)

Despite my determination, I still didn't have a topic. I ended up asking sister-in-law/coworker for help. This is how the conversation went:

Me: What topic is there that would be informative and not put a classroom full of college males to sleep??
Sister: Talk about how people's glasses work.
Me: I don't know how people's glasses work!
Boss: Well you should...
Me: Oh, by the way, I found my training binder in my room when I was cleaning it the other day
Boss: Maybe you should read it...
Me: Glasses are boring. Nobody cares how they work.
Sister: Informative speeches are supposed to be boring...
Me: I refuse to be boring!! Give me an exciting topic or give me death!!
(ok, so I didn't really say that, but I should have)

Enough of that. Sister proceeded to suggest talking about something that I was interested in because my interest is contagious and would make everyone enthralled with any and all words coming out of my mouth. Fantastic idea!

I like architecture. Well that's not going to work. There's too much to inform people about for a 7-10 minute speech. It would have had to go along these lines:
Me: This building is pretty. This one isn't. Etc....
Yeah. No.

I like cars. Well that's not going to work. My class is made up of mostly guys. They know all of this already. (yes, I realize this is a gross generalization. sue me.) Plus, as it turned out, there was a guy in my class who picked that very topic. It would have looked like I copied him. No bueno.

I like shoes. Hey.... this could work.... Bwah hah hah! My class is made up of mostly guys! They so don't know this stuff! I will inform them of it, and it will be FABULOUS!

Oh yes. Greatest idea. Ever.

Shoes turned into clothes and clothes turned into Haute Couture. Thank you Chanel and Dior for inspiring me to give the greatest speech ever. And what do you know, the guys seemed interested. They even asked questions when they didn't understand something.

"What's a frock?"

"So with the French regulations on the term 'Haute Couture', design houses can only have shops in Paris?"


Oh man. So funny. I guess I should have done a slide show to go along with it.

Next time, next time...




*names have been changed for privacy and entertainment purposes.